Jesus Knows You’re Here

I received this over email:

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, ‘Jesus knows you’re here.’  He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.  When he heard nothing more , after a bit, he shook his head and continued.  Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires,  clear as a bell he heard ‘Jesus is watching you.’ Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.  Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.  ‘Did you say that?’ he hissed at the parrot.  ‘Yep’, the parrot confessed, then squawked, ‘I’m just trying to warn you that he is watching you.’  The burglar relaxed. ‘Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?’  ‘Moses,’ replied the bird.  ‘Moses?’ the burglar laughed. ‘What kind of people would name a bird Moses?’  ‘The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.’

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DR. LAURENCE H. KANT (LARRY KANT), MYSTIC SCHOLAR: Engaged Mysticism and Scholarship in the Pursuit of Wisdom; Discovering meaning in every issue and facet of life; Integrating scholarship, spirituality, mysticism, poetry, community, economics, and politics seamlessly. Historian of Religion: Ph.D., Yale University, 1993 (Department of Religious Studies); Exchange Scholar, Harvard University, Rabbinics, 1983-84; M.A., 1982, Yale, 1982 (Department of Religious Studies); M.T.S., Harvard Divinity School, 1981; B.A., Classics (Greek and Latin), Tufts University, 1978; Wayland High School (Wayland, MA), 1974. Served on the faculty of Cornell University (Ithaca, NY), York University (Toronto), and Lexington Theological Seminary (Lexington, KY). Works in many languages: Ancient Greek, Latin, Hebrew, Aramaic, Syriac, English, French, Italian, German, Modern Greek (some Dutch, Portuguese, Spanish). Holder of numerous honors and awards, including The Rome Prize in Classics (Prix de Rome) and Fellow of the American Academy of Rome.
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