Looking at Myself

When I meditate, I look at myself. I watch myself breathe, sit, listen. So who is the one breathing, sitting, listening? Who is the one watching all this? I realize that I am neither the doer nor the watcher. I am the one who contains both the watcher and the doer. I exist somewhere else in another place, in another home, of which all this is but a small part.

We are each so small and so large, so near and so far. No/thing contains us, and we contain all that is.  We are right next to ourselves, yet an eternity away. We are bodies and DNA scrolls crossing space and time, conveying new stories as we compose poetry in energy, condensing and scattering, then reformulating ourselves in new patterns and structures, like a living kaleidoscope.

Freedom from Bondage

Freedom from bondage in Egypt still has not finished. We are still wandering in the wilderness to the extent that we are in bondage to the expectations of others. Such a plight might indicate “peer pressure,” but even more it refers to the manipulations of powerful cultural forces and vast corporate empires.

Yet, in the din and confusion of screeching bullies and con-men, it is within our power to listen to our own authentic voices and act accordingly. A difficult journey faces us, but the land of milk and honey beckons.

Awareness

When an incarnate being enters into full awareness, the many and the one melt into one another

Anxiety and Fear

Anxiety and fear are like bushes and branches on a path. All you have to do is step over them or around them or just clear them away. Then you’re back on the path that was always there anyway.

Esau and Jacob

Who is Esau? He whom Jacob makes whole. Who is Jacob? He whom Esau makes whole. Separately they are fragments, shards. Together they comprise a complete vessel holding the light of the Source in one integrated consciousness.

The Curved and the Straight

Living on right angles and along straight lines gives us the illusion that we are moving from Point A to Point B, from Moment X to Moment Y. In reality, space and time are curved, and we live along a continually shifting,  four-dimensional time-circle or time-helix.  Points A and B and Moments X and Y might intersect or overlap. Or Point B and Moment Y might precede Point A and Moment X.  Or Points A and B might be the very same place, and Moments X and Y might happen at exactly the same time. Yet, even so, the journey makes all the difference in the world, making each place and each time a new experience–indeed a new place and a new time.

Where are you? Nowhere, yet everywhere.
When are you here? Never, yet always.

Creation

Creation is a process that never stops (Gen 1-2)

Gateway to the Source

For at least one other person, each of us is a gateway to the Source (God).

Truth

What is truth? What makes us first anxious and defensive and then relieves our burden.

The Horizon

Wherever earth and heaven meet, that’s the horizon.

Delphi

I have been to Delphi three times, twice with other graduate students, faculty, and archaeologists, and again later with Dianne, my wife, who was then a graduate student herself.  In 1986, Dianne and I visited Delphi so that we could share travel in Greece together.  It was that third time that Delphi became a magical place for me, full of wonder and deep feeling.  We spent three days there, enjoying great food and scenery, with Mount Parnassus majestic in the background.  Yet it was during our visit to the archaeological site, with our Blue Guide (and other guide books), methodically going over as many stones in as much detail as we possibly could, when we encountered the sacred character of this site.  Anybody who watched us would think we were somewhat compulsive, trying to figure out the location of as many details in the Blue Guide as we possibly could.  We spent hours and hours identifying the monuments, thinking about their organization and layout, and reflecting on the religious nature of the place (including the Sybil who apparently ingested hallucinogenic gases to open her up to cosmic forces).  Somehow, as we read painstakingly through this rather dry book, the Dephic energy arose almost out of the ground itself suffusing us.  We did not go there looking for something, seeking some kind of mystic message,  Rather, it was by studying and observing, and relating to each other that (even when we did not fully understand things) we unexpectedly felt what it was to be in a holy place.

Many Paths

We have many paths to choose that lead us to different places, but each one is part of a larger map laid out for us.

Love

Love stems from the awareness that we are not alone.

The Horizon

Keep your eyes on the horizon. That’s where present and future merge.

Promised Land

Does the Source want us to reach the promised land? No. The Source wants us to be on our way there, to walk toward it.  There is no promised land: only a dirt path with spectacular scenery, our two legs, and good travel companions.  The path is rocky and slow-going, but we learn much along the way. There are lots of alternate routes, and each one takes us to new vistas and landscapes.  When we finally do arrive at the place for which we yearn, we find that it’s just another dirt path taking us somewhere else.

Being and Becoming in Shabbat

Shabbat closes the weekly circle, being completing becoming.  Then a new curved line swirls outward, moving forward, waiting to meet its sibling at the beginning and at the end, to commence again in an eternally re-forming helix.  This is the 7-day ourobouros, the snake swallowing its tail, shabbat swallowing six days of creation.  We go forward, only to begin again, before the Source swallows us, and life then continues in a new form.  A day, a week, a month, each a re-forming of days, weeks, and months before them.  No different from life, Gilgul:  we are born, we live, we die, rest a while in shabbat, to move gain as new life forms, beings in the midst of becomings.

Jacob’s Ladder

Jacob’s Ladder: Dreams allow us to move from one dimension to another.

Lost

Lost we wander in the wilderness trying to find an oasis, not realizing that both the wilderness and the oasis are inside us.

Burdens

When your burden is too heavy to bear, let others share it.

When Things Look Down

When things look down,  look up.

Truth and Authenticity

Truth is the core goal of seekers. Authenticity is its sibling.

Helping Others

We may never know those whom we are here to help, but we are here for them just the same.

Thinking is a Scion of Feeling

Thinking is a scion of feeling, one of the senses, a metaphorical, symbolic realm filled with the vibrant colors of awareness, the smells of memory, the voices of inspiration, the touch of knowledge, and the light of clarity.

Dealing with Evil

Sociopaths, murderers, con-men, sadists, and bystanders before violence are all part of the same cosmic body as heroes, rescuers, protectors, saints, and gentle souls. We are all on the same path, only some of us perhaps further along than others. When we punish evil, which we must–often harshly–we need to remember to have compassion for all human beings, no matter how rotted and degraded they are. They are our family; they are us. That is a form of wholeness: to be able to condemn (sometimes to kill to protect the lives of others or our own) while also acknowledging our common humanity and shared divine spirit.

Shalom

Where do we find shalom? Inside ourselves, then exhaled as life-giving breath for others.

Genesis

Genesis is the story of flawed characters just like us.

Calm

Where do we find calm? Right beneath the anxiety that shields us from feeling it.

Gateways

Every atom and quark inside you contains a gateway to the Source.

Culture

We can never completely absent ourselves from culture. Paradoxically, we can only transcend culture by sometimes embracing it. Staying true to ourselves involves both withdrawal and immersion.

Light and Contrast

If all was light, creation could not be. Boundaries require contrast.

What is the Light of Day 1

Since the Source created the sun, the moon, the planets, and the stars on Day Four, what is the light of Day 1? It is the hidden light, the light seen not by our our outer eyes, but by our inner eyes (Gen 1).

Befriending the Darkness

Sometimes we have to accept and befriend the darkness before we can see the light. Remember that in Genesis 1 darkness precedes light.

Right Now

Right now is where we are.

Electomagnetic Harmonies

Underneath the noise are the hums, buzzes, and whistles of the earth’s vibrating voice waiting for us to listen and understand.

Being and Becoming

What is Being?  Becoming. What is Becoming? Being. We cannot enter one without entering the other.

Jacob’s Dream

Genesis 28:10-22

We humans are stones, apparently hard and unchangeable, but in reality slowly transforming, able to be molded and shaped, gradually breaking up into soil as we nourish the earth, the water, and the air.

Jacob used a stone as a pillow during sleep and set it up afterwards as a standing pillar to remind us that we are creatures of the earth,  nourished by our mother, linked to heaven, going up and down a stone staircase, as we integrate female and male, above and below, inside and outside, earth and heaven.

Just as Jacob, we are here to immerse ourselves in life’s ups and downs:  stones breaking up and reshaping themselves as we point our inner selves heavenward and earthward to remind us of our home straight ahead, with our authentic being, now expanded to include the ever shifting kaleidoscope of life made whole.

Experiencing the Source

The Source (God) is not something you believe in.  The Source is something you experience,   People who believe in God attach themselves to an abstraction, a disembodied thought.  People who experience God have nothing to explain or justify.  The Source simply is.  It is not separate from life and creation, but integrated with life and creation.

Torah Was First

The Source created Torah before creating the world. Learning preceded producing.

Returning to Your Ancestors

To return to your ancestors is to return home, to go back where you belong. Here we travel as little-big-egos careening against, and on top of, one another as we struggle to come in first and certify our separate identities. To go home from your trip is to return to the hive, carrying with you knowledge otherwise unobtainable.

Deep Knowledge

Deep knowledge takes us to a place where knowledge itself begins to evaporate into infinity. That’s when we eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge once again.

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